•たりしないように運命付け

27th November, a morning me and him was over. I cried my heart out so badly, that was actually the first time we broke up and straight right after we broke up, i hide in my bed, i cried out. As i cried, i texted him i told him he's a good boyfriend, just have to bear this words in mind, i'm telling you so much to let you know how much you've changed frm the day we knew each other till now. And you explained to me, its not because you dont wanna accompany me, its because in the past i wanna you pei me how long, you had do so, cos you're not working. But now its different, you told me if you accompany me, whose gonna feed you? You told me to find another guy cos you're not a good boyfriend, you told me you cant accompany as much as like in the past. And i dont know what to say, without anything, i replied and say okay. At that point of time, my heart feeling so empty again. I felt that i dont understand you much. But have you ever thought of my feelings too? Is this what you said, you love me. I'm the second girl you put your whole heart to love to care. You know how much mixed up feelings ive hide inside my heart all along? Have you ever cared about how i'm feeling? You know, ive been thinking and thinking from this days onwards, how to bring back the old you into my life again? You're really a very good guy, to me. You taught me alot of things, alot alot that make sense. Whenever i'm upset in the past, you'd always pei me, anwei me, tell me things for my own good. And everything you said always make sense, you control me, in a way not to make myself turn bad. To jio guys go rounding, to anyhow give guys my number, you told me alot of things. When in the past i'm upset, i go drinking with my friends, that period of time we didnt contact. You were wooing sharon already, you didnt care about me anymore. But till one day, i reaslie you know so much things, i knew everything you read from my blog. And at first i thought you didnt cared, but in fact, you still cared about me, you often read my blog to find how i'm to see how's things going on. Nobody can replace you, not even the longest r/s ive with Jiayang can replace you. You're really very awesome in every way. You'd never failed to accompany me through the darkness. Whenever i cried, you know you'll always texted me, you made me wake up from every single things. Till now, whenever i'm sad, i looked into those messages you used to sent me, and i'd happily smiling. In the same time, i'll cried. And think of how much you've changed. You were no longer the guy ive met already. You changed alot alot, i hope to turn back the old you. But i dont know how to? I'm sad now, and you dont give a dam anymore. In the past, was it this way? No, its not. You'll straight text me whenever i'm sad, you'll definitely message me till i smile, and you'd told me now smile le, can go sleep le. But now? Where's those sweet moments? Was it gone for awhile or forever? I swear, i'm willing to give up the world just to have back the old you, the reason is very simple, cos i love you and i think everything its worth. I often keep silent doesnt mean i dont care doesnt mean i love you no more. You're really the first guy i can give up everything just for you, ive been behaving well. I'm not like the past like how i treated and behave when i'm with Jiayang. Cos he isn't worth my love too, remember? In this world, there's not only him that can made me felt so loved and care. Remember what you used to tell me? I guess you've forgotten everything. I was lying on my bed, thinking should i forward all those messages to you, to let you see how you were in the past. IF you love me, you care for me, its not hard to turn back the times, seriously. If you know me well, its not easy for me to fall for someone. But you, yes you, you made me fall for you... but it turns out this way, so do you wanna me regret? Do you wanna make me think that being with you is the biggest mistake? You dont right, but how can i find back the old you den? Tell me, i'm willing to give up as much as i could.
Till now, i really cant figure out, why am i thinking that loving you, doing everything for you is very worth. But for anyone else, i'd never felt this way. Sigh... why why why? Why always the good one i dont want, bad one i want. Why did things turned out differently? I love you today, tomorrow, and for the rest of my life. I know you wont be reading my post, but still ive to let out my feelings. Crying out and letting out my hart is the only way which had made me felt better.

I miss the old you.
I miss the time you love taking photos with me.
I miss the time being so close with you.
I miss the time talking with you on phone for that long.
I miss the time you'd always cared for me like nobody else.
I miss the time i'd share my things with you.
I miss the time you bought me out.
I miss the time you feed me drink green tea.
I miss the time you cooked for me, and feed me to eat.
I miss the time you always bugged me to bath.
I miss the time you always treat me like a little baby.
I miss the time you hugged me in your arms.
I miss the time you kissed me on my forehead.
I miss the time you pat me to sleep.
I miss the time you sent me back home.
&Lastly, i still miss the old you, baby.