|
| |
|
The girl.
♥ J I A X I N there's nothing wrong with my name. You'll always be a part of me. Hot-temper girl, easily jealous. Loves shopping, taking photos. Who dont? Grey, black, white, purple, pink(: Fifteen, schooling and Friendster Mickey(s) & Minnie(s) lover Pokka grntea &Cookies &cream cho.(: &Loves those who deserve my love, If you think you know me, read my blog and think again. I'm the only witness and the only person who can judge my life. ♥♥♥ More thn words.
Loveable.   12/25/08  Talks.
Links
♥Amy♥Felicia♥Jolene♥Linny♥Sokcheng
♥Koksiang♥Shihui Angelina Augustine Aloysius Andrea Agatha Ahrui Bebe Beekee Carolyn Cecilia Chinjin ♥Cherie Chole Cynthia Eric Eugene Esther Eddy Elaine Elf Elizabeth Gillian Gladys Gordon Guanchai Guoxiang Huifen Ilana Ilona Jiayang Jieying Jolene Janna Joanna Jasmine Jolene Jialing Jeslyn Jiaan Jingying Jiaen Kerlyn Kathy Karim Kimkai Lydia Lynn ♥Liling ♥Lilian Minmin Monika Nigel Phoenix Pauline Qiuang Sakura Siman Snow Sean Shiting Sylvia Soh Samuel Stephanie Shirley Serene Shimin Shuiching Shawn Suann Tricia Weixin Wangziyeye Viona ♥Valarie Xueting Yiling Yicong Yihui Zhiling Zihui August 2008 September 2008 October 2008 November 2008 December 2008 January 2009 February 2009 March 2009 April 2009 May 2009 June 2009 July 2009 August 2009 September 2009 August 2010 |
Monday, December 15, 2008, 9:54 AM
How bright our love used t be, has all come t a empty &dark side, has it?  I duno whr shld i start frm? My hart have gt alot t say, bt all of a sudden it just went blank. Sometimes, i dun feel like letting my feelings out, bt here is the only place which could made me feel much bttr thn anything else. So ive no choice, bear with this post ppls. &Onces again, i dun knw wht happened. I only knw, its my fault, bt still, i apologised t you, didnt i? I tot i could keep tis happy moments tgt for long, as frm we patched back till nw, gt at least gg a week alr, we didnt argued nor anything, nt even small quarrel or anything, im so happy with it, leading a happy &simple life tgt, with so much of laughters thn before. Bt nw, its gone again, could it be gone forever? I dun knw, bt i wun ask for much, since ive no much time left in s'pore alr, and whn im back, i really really wonder, hw could things be like in s'pore? Tot, a week away frm s'pore isnt long, bt have nvr leave my own bf in s'pore for tht long, so i might be naggy, i might be worried &stuffs, bear with it. No matter hw far you're, imagines of you could always made me smile, msg of yours brighten up my day, always without fail. A day, its been a day frm Sunday night till nw, Tuesday 12:56am we didnt stay in contact alr. Hw strng im t nt contact you. Cos nw i knw, we wasn't meant for each other. Cos, i shldnt had get back t your side in the first place, bt still i didnt regret anything. Thr's one thing i wanna mention out, which have been kept inside my hart for long, no matter hw much thse love we used t have has turned into hatred, i still have t say, you're the only one tht understand me the most. Naughtyboy, nw i realise tht you wasn't really the one tht understands me as much as jiayang do, this things, i'll say out loud, i wont deny nor anything. Its the fact tht jiayang understands me the most thn anyone else. Bt, he isn't as perfect as you're. I really need a bf tht understands me, tht pampered me. I think, im spoilt alr. Being t pampered last time. You told me, why must i always let you nag &nag thn i'll listen, i answered you, im being spoilt alr. In the past, i wna wht i'll get, i can lied on bed waiting for every single things into the room just for me. Just like a princess waiting for whoever t takecare of me. Bt like you told me before, you wun spoilt me. Tht point of time, my mind thinking alot, tot i told myself tht, thts quite a gd thing tht you dont spoil me. Bt inside of me, again. Im thinking &thinking alot, for wht? For nth, only making myself upset. &t thse spammers, whatever you wna t say, say it right infrnt of me alright? No point being a cat, dog, hiding behind the screen typing &typing non stop. &for your info, this is my blog, ive my rights. Bt even tot he's lousy, afterall, he's the only one tht understands me the most. Might nt be the most gd bf t me, bt the one tht really understand me frm head t toe, every single things of mine, i knw he understands me the most. Its nt tht i still loves him, still miss him. Its nw tht ive learnt t let go of him &have a new r/s, bf. Thn i knw, hw fortune im in the past t have someone who really truly understands me frm up t dwn. Nw i realise, i really need t find someone who understands me well thn we can get along tgt, otherwise, really pointless. Cos, till nw, i think zhikwang dun really understand me, he can make me happy, bt for tht moment, nt forever. I can said, im trying t avoid all tht i can, bt still, im always the one making you angry, im sorry. Bt one thing i wanna you knw, you're the one tht ive gave up alot just t make this r/s a bttr one. And ive nvr spoil this r/s before. Ive nvr went rounding without you knwing, ive nvr go drink without you knwing, ive nvr hide any single things frm you. Im glad, you gave me your trust. &Im also glad tht, i can wei ni er xi sheng. I cant believe myself frm stop gg drink, rounding, out with guys. In the past de me wasn't like this, just take jiayang as an example &its enuff. I often told him im slping, end up i went out t find my frds. I often told him, im with this with tht, end up im not with thse ppl im told him im with. I always lied t him, and slowly in times, he start t lose the trust in me, and i find it irritating of him t always spot check me, msg my sis, call my hse, webcam &everything. &onces, i broke off with him cos of this. &Nw, look hw much different izzit tht ive scarifice for you? Naughtyboy, maybe t you, its nth bt t me its alot tht ive done for you. Ive nvr done it for jiayang before leh? I always told him i'll change, i'll changed, i beg for his forgiveness, bt without fail, i made him disappointed again &again. Just count the number of times ive made you disappointed, i think its zero. Nvr onces i tend t hurt you, nvr onces i tend t disappoint you, its nvr onces. In the past, i always always cried for jiayang, i do stupid things cos of him, i quarrel with families, with frds cos of him, i beg for his return, i beg for his forgiveness, i do alot things which is STUPID just cos of him. Bt after him, i told myself ive nvr do tht again. Without fail, you made me cried infrnt of you, yet ignoring me. Dont you knw hw hurt my hart was? Yes, it was my mouth, my farking mouth tht say abt your exs things, if you really understands me like hw jiayang does, you'll knw tht, i always mention thse stupid stuffs tht made each other unhappy, bt do you really think i wish t mention, well nvrmind. &I didnt realise it till nw i truly knws tht jiayang is the only one tht had &could tolerate me all this while &understand me the most. Thks for the past, even hw hatred this love has been t you now, still thks for tolerating me like nobody else could &understands me like nobody else could too. :) I always said about his exs t, yes, i knw both of you are different ppl. I shldn't compare, its wrng t compare, bt i really wish &hope you'll get t knw me bttr, learnt t give in a lil for me, learnt t pamper me in the right time. Im saying all these, t let you knw hw im feeling, nt t say hw lousy hw nt understand you're. Thse mixed up feeling been hiding in my hart for quite long, and i hope you're able t read it, i really hope. Cos im tired, bt no matter hw tired im, if you're willing t listen, willing t believe, im willing t tell you hundred, thousands time, its a no problem. Bt ask yourself, are you willing t listen t believe nor anything? IDK! Maybe remain as frds is the best choice for us? I missed alot of the past of us. How lovely, how swit we were. Just rewind back t the old times, and you'll knw hw much of happiness we've lost nw. Spare a lil time understanding me bahs. Spend a lil while trying t rewind back t the past t bahs. I'll leave everything in this way till im back t s'pore. Hope you behave well okays? You can choose nt t knw anything, bt no matter wht, you're always the perfect one for me. I love you as much as frm the begining till nw. &It'll always remain, nth gonna change my love for you. Naughtyboy, afterall tht really happened all thse while, i still have t tell you, if one day i choose t let go of everything &nvr look back again, its nt tht ive easily giveup on this r/s, on you, on anything, its nt im tired too, its tht, i loved you alot. Therefore letting you go will be the only choice. :) Bt no matter wht, you'll always be kept dwn in a portion of my hart which no one else can replace, i promised. If I had to live my life without you near me The days would all be empty The nights would seem so long With you I see forever oh so clearly I might have been in love before But it never felt this strong Our dreams are young and we both know They'll take us where we want to go Hold me now, touch me now I don't want to live without you Nothing's gonna change my love for you You ought to know by now how much I love you One thing you can be sure of I'll never ask for more than your love Nothing's gonna change my love for you You ought to know by now how much I love you The world may change my whole life through But nothing's gonna change my love for you If the road ahead is not so easy Our love will lead a way for us Like a guiding star I'll be there for you if you should need me You don't have to change a thing I love you just the way you are So come with me and share the view I'll help you see forever too Hold me now, touch me now I don't want to live without you |
